


Strange then warm feelings

by Lokisbur



Category: AOS - Fandom, Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series, tos - Fandom
Genre: Fluff, M/M, No Beta, Post Mission, We die like redshirts, sickbay, slight mention of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26819380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokisbur/pseuds/Lokisbur
Summary: After being captured by aliens wanting information about the Federation, the crew ends up in a cell where they decided to force them to talk by hurting Spock's hand. Unfortunately the vulcan was injured enough to loose a bit of his hand's telepathic abilities, leading to him getting stuck in sickbay for a while with McCoy, who finally told him something he never dream would become true.
Relationships: Spones
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	Strange then warm feelings

Blur. Voices around him. Pain. Strong, burning, freezing. Tears rolling down his face. Screams. People screaming around him. Or maybe it was him. He couldn’t think, only letting himself drift in his confused mind.

He managed to open his eyes a bit, but was directly blinded by the lights around. Everything sounded, looked, smelled, tasted, felt strange. Off. Not quite as he remembered it to be. He managed to make out the face in front of him. Doctor McCoy. He had a bit of green on his neck and his jaw, maybe even his uniform. He tried to call him, to reach to him, but to no success. It was when he finally understood what was the problem.

He looked down at his hands, and all he could see was green. 

His hands were injured so badly that the natural telepathic link he had to everything around couldn’t be made, it was the reason all of his senses were off. Panic. A strong wave of panic came to him. All the numbness his body created in order to disregard the pain went away.

“Spock!” McCoy was calling him.

He could hear him but not quite. He tried to breathe but the air got stuck at the entrance of his lunges. He couldn’t breathe. 

“SPOCK!” McCoy yelled again. 

This time the doctor exchanged hand holding the stretcher in order to place the other on the vulcan’s face.

“It’s alright. It’s going to be alright. The damage isn’t as bad as it looks and I know that your senses are off right now, but please try to calm down.”

Spock vaguely felt the wave of reassurance and love coming from the doctor’s hand and it helped to unclog his throat; he could breathe again. He closed his eyes for a second, trying not to let yet another tear fall down his face. He didn’t manage to do so, the pain was too strong, his control over his emotions too weak. The hand on his face moved swiftly to gently wipe away his tears and he couldn’t help but to press his face on it. He felt another wave of love, slightly stronger this time, but also amusement and...a hint of… adoration?

“Spock, we’re in sickbay.” told him the doctor. “I’m going to put you to sleep and under anesthetic, alright? I’ll be there when you wake up again, I promise.”

The man brushed the scientist’s cheek with his thumb, trying to let him experience as much calm and serenity as possible before letting go. He hoped it would be enough to reassure his friend and thought one last time about how amazing he was. Any other vulcan would’ve fainted or went mad at this point, but he didn’t. He took one last look at him then put on his doctor stare; he will do everything in his power to do his job to perfection.

  
  


\------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


“...tor. Doctor McCoy.”

McCoy jumped straight in the chair.

“I’M AWAKE!”

“You were about to fall down your chair.”

The doctor turned his head to his left. Spock was laying on the bed, his hands slightly elevated; exactly as he left him a few hours ago. He was looking at him with tired eyes. Wait,  _ tired _ eyes? Never the doctor would’ve thought seeing such a thing in his life. 

“So how you’re feeling?”

The laying man took some time, most likely to analyze and think of a suitable answer.

“I still cannot quite feel my hands, and my senses are still...off.” he finally answered after a minute.

“It’s normal, just the time for your hand to heal. Fortunately, none of the nerves has been touched, so the wounds are mostly superficial, but deep enough to disturb your telepathic abilities.” he explained.

The doctor looked at his patient’s hands, without noticing the other man studying him. He must’ve gone out for a minute or so, because he heard him calling him again, but as if it was distant. He stretched a bit again and turned his attention off the hands and onto the face.

“Doctor, have you received medical attention?” asked the injured vulcan.

“Oh yes I did, Nurse Chapel catched me as I came out of the surgery room.” he said, continuing to stretch other parts of his body.

“Then you should rest. You’ve held your promise of being here when I wake up, therefore you have no obligation to stay by my side anymore.” stated Spock.

The doctor looked at him with a grimace. 

“Why would I leave you?”

“You need to-”

“-rest, yes, I know. But what if I want to stay by your side, what you gonna do about it?” replied the doctor quite harshly.

Spock let out a slightly confused look and moved his stare to the ceiling.

“Spock, I’m sorry. I’m worried about your hands, and I don’t know, maybe I think that if I stay beside you it’s going to heal better or something.”

The vulcan closed his eyes for a second then moved his gaze on the man.

“Doctor, go rest, I’ll be alright.”

McCoy bit the inside of his lower lip and nodded. He placed his hands on his face and let them fall slowly. He was tired indeed, but he didn’t want to let the science officer’s side.

“Doctor McCoy!” called a feminine voice. “You were supposed to rest two hours ago!”

“I did! I just told him that I’ll be there when he wakes up, so I stayed here. But I did sleep.” he answered defensively.

The blonde woman looked at him dubiously. She then gave up and let out a sigh before leaving from where she came.

It only took her a minute to come back with a hospital bed that she placed beside the already occupied one. She placed the sheets on it and left again to bring back a pillow. She then placed herself in front of the doctor, dozing off again.

“Doctor, you  _ have  _ to rest more than that. So now you go on that bed and you  _ sleep _ .” ordered the Nurse. 

The man looked at Spock, who only raised his eyebrows in response. The battle couldn’t be won, so he stood up to go do as she asked.

“Good. Now, I wish you two a good night. You are the two most injured and the captain  _ and _ the ambassador can take care of explaining what happened to Starfleet Command. Your only orders are to rest and get better.”

The Nurse left and closed the door, lowering the lights to 15% on her way.

“Well, guess I still can stay by your side.” noted McCoy with a small laugh.

“Doctor.” started Spock, turning his head toward the man. “I know my injuries are bad, but I am in no danger of death, and even when I was, you weren’t staying by my side nor absolutely wanted to.”

The vulcan paused a moment, looking at the said doctor, now looking away, an indescribable feeling on his face.

“Why?” he finally added.

McCoy layed down on the bed and placed himself so his back would face Spock.

“Doctor.”

“Stop speculating Spock.”

“Bones, I know for a fact that this aren’t speculations. But if you do not wish to tell me, I will respect your silence.”

The two men stayed silent for a moment, the only sound in the room being the beeping of the machines monitoring Spock’s lifesigns. After some time the beeping was slow enough for McCoy to know that Spock was asleep, or at least near sleep.

“It’s because I’m in love with you, you idiot.” he whispered.

Due to his position, he didn’t see Spock’s eyes jolt open and look at him.

  
  


\-------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


When Spock woke up, Bones was tangled in the sheets and really close to the border of his bed. He unfortunately couldn’t put him back in place so he instead thought about meditating, or at least thinking about a certain thing. 

What the doctor told him the night before was quite disturbing, not that he loved  _ him  _ of all people, but that he told him that, especially at such a moment. Spock knew for a while that he had feelings for the man. He never knew when he started to have them, but he knew that he loved him, how could he have not started to feel something for the person he sees the most? His peculiar anatomy and his hybridation brought some complications to him, and the CMO was the first person he encountered that was ready to do everything in his power to  _ help _ him. But not help as in only providing his medicine, help as finding new ones, a better way for him to deal with all the complications, trying to give him less medicines to take but with the same, if not even  _ better _ , effects. The man helped him when sudden effects appeared, he helped to take his medicine without alerting anyone, he helped him after the torture to keep his mind straight. Spock was pretty sure that if the doctor wasn’t there after each time the alien went through his hand with that knife, he would’ve gone mad, like any other vulcans he has heard of. Losing the telepathic properties of his hands was something a vulcan couldn’t bear, as it helped for more than just plain telepathic link with another being. He already felt strange, and everything around him was too, due to the wounds he had received. And yet, the doctor helped him through it, helped him regain his abilities; and he knew he will continue to help him.

As he was going through his mind about all the ways he loved the man, the said person shifted even closer to the border; only to fall seconds later. But instead of hearing just a scream, he heard a scream and a laugh.

“Well, Bones, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?” said a warm voice.

The doctor only grumbled at him and did his best to stand up again.

“Just to tell you both, everything has been dealt with, Starfleet has all the information they wanted, so you won’t be bothered at all.” the captain continued.

He sat on the chair between their beds and wiped his face with his hands.

“Jim.” said the doctor. “Aren’t you supposed to be on the bridge?”

“Oh, I’m getting there, I just wanted to see you two before that.” smiled the captain. “To see how my two lovebirds are holding it together.” he added with a smirk.

He managed to avoid a cushion being thrown at him and grab another one to send back to McCoy. Finally, he left laughing and greeting Nurse Chapel on his way out of sickbay.

The nurse arrived a few seconds later, picking up the cushion on her path.

“Good morning gentlemen.” she greeted them.

She put the cushion back where it belonged and held out a tube and a pair of gloves to the doctor. The man took them, letting out a small “thank you” and read what was written on the tube. The woman inspected the screens quickly and nodded.

“Everything is in order.” she stated to the laying vulcan. “We just need to change your bandages and apply the cream. But I believe that the dear Doctor McCoy can do it by himself.”

“Thank you, nurse.” thanked her Spock.

She nodded to him and left the room, closing the door behind her again.

The doctor put on the gloves and put the tube of cream at Spock’s side.

“I’ll do your left hand first, it’s just removing the bandages, checking on the control you have on them and applying the cream.” he explained quickly. “Ready?”

“Doctor, you can start your job without asking me first.”

He rolled his eyes. He knew that Spock would never say it, but he appreciated being told what was about to happen in detail,  _ especially _ when he was in sickbay.

He raised the bed a bit, in order for the vulcan to be in a seated position. He slowly removed the bandages. The scars were rather ugly, but they couldn’t risk using a regenerator. They still were greenish, as were their surroundings, but less than the day before. 

“I’ll move your fingers slowly, tell me if there’s any pain.” he announced.

“It is at 2 for the moment.” noticed him Spock.

He turned the hand around and slowly closed it to form a fist.

“4.” said the vulcan. 

The doctor stopped right away.

“Alright.” he said.

He turned the hand, palm facing the bed, and let it rest on his own in a more flat position. He could feel the roughness due to the scars but also the temperature difference between them.

“Can you move it?” he asked, looking at his face. “ _ without _ pain.'' he quickly added.

The fingers twitched a bit, but to no actual movement. Spock said nothing and just stared blankly at his hand.

“It’s okay.” tried to reassure him the doctor. “First try is never a success.”

He gently placed his hand on the bed and grabbed the tube to place some of the cream on his hand. He then kind of massaged it into Spock’s skin, being careful of what he was doing, and grateful that he was wearing the psi-nullifying gloves. When he finished his task he placed new bandages over the hand and did the exact same task on the second. As he was starting to place the bandages on the second one, Spock spoke up.

“I heard you last night.”

The doctor freezed an instant, then came back to focus on his task. 

“It might be time for me-”

“No it’s not!” the doctor said at him. “It’s just an injury to your hands, it will heal and you’ll be as you were before.”

He looked at the vulcan with conviction. But after an actual look, he noticed that the vulcan had an eyebrow up.  _ Way to go Leonard, learn how to read a damn room, _ he told himself. He returned once more to his work, trying his best to finish his job properly. As he finished and secured the nadages, Spock continued his sentence.

“-to say that I share the feeling.”

He froze again. 

He frowned and let out a loud “ _ What? _ ” 

“It merely matters, doctor.” 

“No it doesn’t!” he yelled. “Spock! I-”

He breathed out and looked away.

“Actually, I have no idea what to say. Sure, I’m happy to hear that, but also I feel like I forced that on you and I know that vulcans do feel but chooses to leave those feelings on the side.”

“You haven’t forced me on anything, doctor.” told him Spock. “My hands might not be able to show you but, if you could place your forehead on mine.”

The doctor looked at him with curiosity, but still did as asked. He sat on the bed, removed his gloves and moved his head towards Spock’s. At 5 centimeters from him, he closed his eyes and moved more slowly. Then he touched his forehead. Cold. Warm? Not physically warm, more like a feeling. He feared for a second that Spock was trying to mind meld with him, but no one probed the border of his mind. Instead, all that McCoy could feel was different type of emotions. He could feel the constant nagging pain from Spock’s hand, but he also could feel another nicer feeling directed at him. He relaxed a bit and focused on that feeling, trying to get the hang of it.  _ Love. _ It was love that Spock was sending him, by small waves maybe, but it still was here.

“I do not wish to overwhelm you.” stated the science officer. 

“It’s...it’s alright.” 

He focused a bit more and decided to let go of his mind lock. He let his own love for the person in front of him flow free. He could feel, even  _ see _ both their love entangled together into a beautiful swirl. But suddenly it was cut away from him.

Spock has moved his head to break the link. 

“Spock? Is everything alright?” carefully asked the doctor.

“I am fine.” breathed out the vulcan. “We were just...creating a bond, I didn’t want it to settle.”

“Settle? A bond?” asked the man. “Oh! Oh, you mean the couple bond thing.”

“The “couple bond thing” isn’t something to joke about, doctor.” replied Spock dryly.

“I know Spock, I know. Just know that I don’t mind it. At the moment it doesn’t allow you to know all my thoughts and else.”

He looked at Spock again.

“Spock, when I said I loved you, it was real. I know we both said and showed our feelings, but I want to know that you’re sure. If you ever want to go further, I’ll be waiting.”

The vulcan looked at him and let out a small smile. McCoy smiled back and grabbed the used objects around. 

“Please rest.” he told him, before leaving the room.

  
  
  


\--------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  
  


"Alright, I need to change your bandages and check on your control of your hands." announced the doctor. 

He placed himself on a high chair in front of Spock and took his left wrist. Slowly, he removed the bandages to let appear a soft hand, with long fingers (quite perfect to play violin) and scars running through the entire length, a painful souvenir slowly flushed away by healing and time.

"Ok, now, just copy what I do."

He made his hand into a fist, then moved each finger one by one, several at the same time, all of that to check if it will move properly. Spock copied every movement almost at perfection. 

"Let's try to do your Vulcan salute." Leonard said with a grin. "I'm still incapable to do it tho." 

The other man did the Ta'al, once again not too far from peak performance.

"I guess it's fine for this hand, let's do the other one, then I'll apply cream and redo your bandages." 

The two men did the same ritual but with the right hand this time. Spock seemed to heal well and Leonard was about to go to the cream part when the Vulcan pointed two fingers at him. 

The doctor snorted "I guess those aren't finger guns". 

"They aren't. They are to engage an intimate touch the same as humans would by kissing." he explained. 

"Oh I see." 

Leonard followed what Spock was doing and suddenly remembered the time Sarek and Amanda were on the Enterprise. He placed his index and middle finger on Spock's. 

"So all this time your parents were kissing right in front of us?" he asked. 

Spock looked up for a second and let out a slightly bit more air than usual, almost a sigh. 

"What my parents did could be considered as holding hands for humans,  _ that _ is a Vulcan kiss" 

As he emphasised on the  _ that _ , Spock moved his fingers on the back of McCoy's and let them slowly brush against them, down almost to the wrist, then came back to the tip. The doctor let out a breath, the feeling was the same as a kiss, the intimate kind of kiss. Not only that but despite being hurt and having quite ugly scars, Spock's hands were wonderful to the touch, soft and a bit cold, but the kind that makes you feel good and want more. He smiled like a young adult experiencing intimacy with someone else for the first time. 

"Your hands are so soft" he murmured, as much to himself as to his partner. "Can I try?" 

Spock nodded, this gave the doctor the right to go ahead. He did his best to do the same as Spock, going a bit slower and trying to put as much feeling in it, which was quite complicated since he had a tendency to deeply follow his emotions. He thought he was doing alright, until Spock bent towards him and placed his head on his chest. Leonard directly stopped and touched his partner's jaw, trying to see what was wrong. 

"Spock, are you alright?" 

The Vulcan moved his right hand to Leonard's and moved his face in order to kiss his palm. After a few seconds, he stood up slowly with his eyes closed and let out a breath. 

"I'm fine. It's just…" Spock looked up at his lover with passionate eyes. "Your hands are amazing and you did everything so well. You really are an amazing kisser." 

Leonard blushed, never he ever was told that, and coming from Spock of all people, was quite the compliment. 

"Well mister lovey dovey, wait 'till I put this cream with those amazing hands of mine." he laughed out, trying to hide his emotions. 

He reached for the cream with some difficulties, as he didn't want to lose his physical link with Spock, and proceeded to put some on Spock's left hand. 

"I do need to apply the cream now. Let's see what a miracle worker can do with miracle hands." 

He massaged the cream in his partner's hand, slowly but surely. One of the most rewarding things he had for applying the cream and taking care of Spock's hands were the noticeable healing, but now? Now it was even better. He had Spock in his arms and could not only send waves of emotion towards him, but could also  _ feel _ emotions. And dear those feelings were, filled with love, craving for him to never stop, even a dash of yearning, and overall, Leonard knew that Spock was  _ melting into a puddle _ in his arms. 

As he was about to finish, he heard a purring near his ear.  _ Do not leave my side _ , it meant - for cats at least. So he didn't leave, he gently put new bandages and shifted slowly onto the bed. Once he was settled, he started to lay down, continuously holding Spock, still purring quietly. 

"I will not leave you, sugarplum." the doctor said, his southern drawl getting stronger. "I'll stay as long as you want." 

The two lovers were holding each other, melting in each other's arms, and soon fell asleep with each in the other's mind. 


End file.
